From Victim Mentality to Being a Light to the World
Be the Light to Yourself
Photo by Jacek Ulinski
Where does the victim mentality come from?
Victim mentality often arises from our reliance on external factors to achieve happiness: we eat delicious food and feel good; we meet friends and feel happy; we visit beautiful places and feel delighted. It's natural to experience joy when receiving external stimuli, but when these become our sole source of joy, problems arise. If our happiness is solely dependent on external sources, the absence of these sources can lead to significant disappointment. We might even become angry if others do not meet our expectations, or worse, if they treat us poorly, our anger intensifies. Reacting negatively only entangles us in others' negativity, leading our minds into a chaotic cycle of conflict, reasoning, and attempts at reconciliation. This dependency on external validation for happiness traps us in victimhood.
The neuroscience of gratitude
Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman has pointed out that the most profound form of gratitude occurs when we receive thanks from others for our actions. This kind of gratitude stems from joy generated by our contributions to others' lives, not from expecting others to make us happy. This perspective empowers us to generate our own happiness and extend it to others.
Creating your own happiness
By focusing on bringing joy and abundance to others, you not only multiply your own capacity for happiness and prosperity but also reduce your vulnerability to others' behaviors. When you no longer depend on others for your happiness, you eliminate the possibility of feeling victimized. You begin to understand that others' actions towards you reflect their capabilities and habits, not your worth. Your primary concern shifts to what you can contribute to your own life and the lives of others. In doing so, you become a beacon of light, both for yourself and for the world, deriving happiness primarily from your ability to create it independently.
Summary:
The victim mentality often stems from relying on external sources for happiness, which can lead to disappointment and a sense of helplessness when expectations are not met. By focusing on generating our own happiness and positively impacting others, we can overcome the victim mentality. This approach allows us to be self-reliant and resilient, ultimately becoming a source of light and joy for ourselves and those around us.